Private Incest

Here are some tips to educate your child about incest. There is no need to feel embarrassed because their lack of education which results in them being an incest victim could be even more challenging to handle later on.

1. From day one, build an open relationship with the child, so that he/she will not be afraid to come to you about anything, even after been sworn into secrecy.

2. Explain to the child ‘good touch’ and ‘bad touch’ – that no one should touch him/her on parts of the body covered by a bathing suit, nor should they touch anyone else in those areas.

3. Explain to the child that incest is sexual activity, ranging from fondling to intercourse, between family members who aren’t married to one another and that this act is a crime for which the perpetrator can be charged.

4. Give your child alternatives. Point them towards persons like their teacher, guidance counsellor, Sunday school teacher, etc that they can go to if they are afraid to come to you.

5. Tell them that the penis and vagina are not tools that they should play ‘dolly house’ with.

6. Explain that should they wander off while in a public place, not to walk around looking for you. Instead, find a security officer and tell that person that they have lost their family and need help in finding them.

7. Encourage them not to get into a car or go anywhere with anyone unless you told them that it is okay to do so.

8. Tell them that if someone follows them on foot or in a car, to stay away from that person and that they don’t need to go near the car to talk to the people inside.

9. Tell then that grown-ups and others who need help should not be asking children for help, they should be asking older people.

10. Tell them to get your permission before they leave the yard or play area, or to go into someone’s home.

11. Tell then never to hitch-hike or try to get a ride home with anyone. Give them the names of a few trusted friends and relatives that you know it is OK for them to ride with.